i am not the lightning on a dark night

i am just a list
of bones and muscles
synapses and
electric impulses

burning up

i'm firing warning shots into space
reminding the constellations that
i'm here
i'm on fire

water my soul with honey

I.
would caribbean pools
quell my fire?
i have earned the right
to burn.

II.
my fingers tap out the seconds
counting down in rhythm
until they can
feast
on your pulse.

III.
i want to lie down in your shadow
let the wet night air
pour over me
feel the darkness close against my skin
and be still free

IV.
there are no doubts,
aside from all of them.
i stand bold and proud
and tremulous
poised to devote
each and every tiny sparkling star ive found
for the sake of
the halo we create

V.
this magic must have been
hiding and secret
quietly growing strong
in the cool ponds of forgotten tears
in the deep caves
too far in
for the fear to reach

yo recuerdo sin vergüenza

i remember where i was standing
i remember how it felt

this is an old, old song
waiting for something deep enough
to fall into

i want to be part of a love story

the resounding echoes grow

move it

flutter and shine, boy

i make light of you
. wax and feathers
preen and melt
. for me

a rare moment of clarity

im always trying to wrap my heart
around razor-sharp boys
boys with jagged love
as though my bruiséd and bemuséd heart
could soften their edges
could protect their corners
could provide a shield.

we're all fools
one way or another.
at least i can see
my poison
on the table.

i dont have to believe in it to hope for it

stop signs
are all shouting
the same thing
at me
: my will heeds no warning.

i had a head-on collision
with your reflection
: i listened
to the suggestions
whispered
by my shadow
: without you
my memories
are worthless

a card borrowed from my past
but played
this time
from the other side
: what is there to be said?
and
if i knew
how i could i possibly say it all?