so where am i

I find myself
my hands inside my pockets
star-gazing at the horizon
holding my breath.

throw my head back, laughing

how can I find myself
here
if anywhere at all?

big breath in
small step out

21days of sorrow 21 days of light

fifteen years of looking for the Right One
thirteen weeks of fleeing in the bright sun

slash it open
feel inside
take my scars and
try for size

wait for the morning
cry for the night

toe-tapping
nail-biting
my eternal dilemma: fight vs. flight.